you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
