some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
