I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
