life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
