i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
