my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
