Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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