My room smells like vodka and shame
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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