can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
