So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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