I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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