I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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