I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
