Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
we're so committed to being not committed
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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