my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
