so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
