Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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