Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
