i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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