My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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