I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
