What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
