either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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