So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
