is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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