she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
