I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
