Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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