if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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