I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
