So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
