I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
