I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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