i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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