Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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