I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
