It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
