Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
