I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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