i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
