1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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