Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
