Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
