So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
