That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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