At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
