i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
