All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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