yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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