Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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