community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
